I will no longer be using this journal.

freeeeeeeeee your miiiiiiinnnnnnd.

tonight was enlightening.

Today in the parking lot at Publix, I had to stop to let a stream of ducks waddle by. It was precious, and my life is complete.

AND, at the Ghetto Wal-mart, they were playing swing music over the intercom.

:)

I am in such a chipper mood!

It's impressive!



It's outstanding!



It's going to change semi-drastically when I wake up at 5:30am tommorow!


:)

But for now. I will document Happy-Shawnna.


-----------------

Sooo, I got my voter's registration today. I did a happy dance, and then peed a little... then I cleaned that up and ate a cookie.

Anyway, I think that made me feel productive, so I went to the library and VOTEDDD, and checked out some books on spirituality, and investing and such... blah blah blah.

I gots me some stamps,.. and i'm gonna send me some letters to some friends.. So if you want a random letter, go ahead and leave me your address, because I'LL DO IT. I like writing people homemade letters, because I always include something horrendously awkward. :) It pleases me so.

Next semester, I will be attending FMU for the massage therapy program. This coming semester, with any luck, will be very productive and HOPEFULLY, I can save lots of money up so I can.. move towards my goals (I'm not sure what they are yet, so don't ask). I kinda realized once I turned down Gainesville, that my life really isn't moving in any direction at all. I don't even feel like i'm walking down a path towards anything. Sooo.. I looked one last time at the HCC catalog and decided that I was wasting my money, and that was unacceptable. I looked around online and wondered why I ever threw away my massage therapy idea... And since I'm too strange for a normal job, I think getting a degree for semi-freelance work would be very complimenting to my strangeness!


and bye for now.

Life is starting to not suck!

Semi-strange things have happened, and I'll just.. post a summary and leave the strangeness out for now...

I'm completely out of Hollywood Video.. and my new employment and Indigo is hard work, but satisfying at the end of the day. I have a terrible espresso addiction... I can't go a whole day without it, unless I want a migraine! Hooray...
I have a boyfriend again. He's wonderful, His name is Justin, and he treats me oh so well. I don't get to see him very often though, but it's okay.
I am in the process of discovering God. I feel like I can barely talk about it, because I'm so afraid I'll jinx it or something. It's so empowering. I can't even describe how it's been revealing itself to me. Almost everyday, I feel it growing inside of me, and it makes me feel at peace.


: )

I quite honestly feel like I'm blossoming into a mature woman.

More on the strangeness later, perhaps.

The Woman Who Could Not Live with Her Faulty Heart

I do not mean the symbol
of love, a candy shape
to decorate cakes with,
the heart that is supposed
to belong or break;

I mean this lump of muscle
that contracts like a flayed biceps,
purple-blue, with its skin of suet,
its skin of gristle, this isolate,
this caved hermit, unshelled
turtle, this one lungful of blood,
no happy plateful.

All hearts float in their own
deep oceans of no light,
wetblack and glimmering,
their four mouths gulping like fish.

[Hearts are said to pound:]

this is to be expected, the heart's
regular struggle against being drowned.

But most hearts say...
I want,
I want,
I want,
I want.

My heart
is more duplicitous,
though no twin as I once thought.
It says,
I want,
I don't want,
I want,
and then a pause.




...


It forces me to listen,

and at night it is the infra-red
third eye that remains open
while the other two are sleeping
but refuses to say what it has seen...

It is a constant pestering
in my ears, a caught moth, limping drum,
a child's fist beating
itself against the bedsprings:


I want,
I don't want.


How can one live with such a heart?

Long ago I gave up singing to it

it will never be satisfied or lulled.


One night I will say to it:
Heart, be still,
and it will.



-Margaret Atwood

Rocky.. is officially on a hiatus. It's depressing, really. The party/gathering thingie was fun. Hippie got hammered. Candie got.. very tipsy. Chris was amusing and tipsy too. I.. took a fewww drinks of Smirinoff. Funny things happened to.. someones car... annnnddd.. I love my friends.

The end.

So i've been watching The L Word lately, and it's been going to my head. It's a beautiful thing, though. Hahaha..

I suppose I'll go sleepy now. :D

Mike got Spiked on tour from Ireland
Willis BoGillis Dynamite Review Explosion from Sarasota

UA Hangout is located across from University Mall on Fowler (behind the Sonic)

Awesome place... great drink specials...

Wed. night $10 Long Island pitchers all night!!!
8" Pizza and a Pint $5 5-9pm
POKER! Texas Hold 'Em at 7:30pm

Show starts at 10... $5... 21+ or 18+ with student ID

Please come and bring your friends!